I have made these red velvet cupcakes at least a dozen times. Every time I make them, they always bring a smile to my face and to those around me. I make these cupcakes whenever I need a pick-me-up. Last year was one of those times. It was one of the most difficult, but also one of the most exciting times of my life. It was a year of very low lows, but also very high highs…going up and down like a ferris wheel.
If you know me, you’ll know that I was in dietetics and was in the process of completing my dietetic internship to become a dietitian. The year started off at a high. I was doing well in my internship. I landed a job doing something I absolutely loved. I even started learning to drive, which I had put off for years. Life was looking good and I could not have been happier with where things were headed. Or so at least I thought.
Things soon took a turn for the worse and life started to head in a downward spiral. I got sick during my internship, had to take time off, had trouble readjusting, made mistakes, ended up failing a placement and having to redo it, then ended up failing that too and was told to withdraw from the program. I was devastated. Something I had been working towards for the last 6 years was coming to an end and I no longer knew what to do with my life. I had lost a huge part of my identity. Never had I failed so badly in my life, especially in something I had worked so long and hard for.
Everything around me seemed to no longer matter and I lost all my motivation. I felt depressed, scared, angry, ashamed, guilty and lost. But it was in these times, the lowest lows that you realize that there is no other way to go from here but up. When people say that failure is a part of success, it is true. When you fail, you realize what you really want and you learn from your past mistakes to make a better future. My advisor shared this quote with me prior to my graduation day:
“Accept your past without regret, Handle your present with confidence & Face your future without fear.”
So that’s exactly what I did. Slowly but surely, I rediscovered myself, what I wanted in life and what was important to me. What really helped me most during this time was a trip to Japan with my significant other. I was so happy as I was surrounded by delicious food and had so many experiences that brought absolute joy to my life. It was an opportunity to clear my mind of all the negative thoughts, to remove myself from an environment that reminded me everyday of my failure and to see life from a different perspective. I came back renewed with a new sense of self and motivation. The motivation that actually got me to start this blog. Now, i’m working in a bakery following my passion and teaching pregnant moms how to cook healthy meals for their families. Life had somehow made another 180 degree turn and i’m once again high on life and happier than ever.
TL;DR
Life is like a ferris wheel.
Enjoy the highs and ride through the lows. Remember that there is no other way to go but up when life seems to have hit an all time low.
Now that the real talk is over…let’s dive into these “red” velvet cupcakes! Okay so these cupcakes aren’t quite “red” as I don’t like dumping a whole bottle of red food colouring into my cupcakes, but I can ensure you they are definitely tasty! In fact, these red velvet cupcakes are my boyfriend’s absolute favourite! He asks me to make these for every single special occasion. They are true bites of happiness! In honour of this post, I put them on the cutest little ferris wheel. The best part of these cupcakes is definitely the cream cheese frosting. I don’t like traditional cream cheese frosting as I find it too heavy so I prefer this lightened version with whipped cream. If you feel like life has hit you hard, try baking up one of these cupcakes. They will be sure to bring a smile to your face and just remember…life will get better. Stay positive. You can get through this. I believe in you.
Michelle, I loved reading this. It was so raw, vulnerable and honest. You turned something so sour into something so sweet and found your place in doing something so meaningful. Maybe what happened was a blessing in disguise. As hard as it is to initially see, I believe that things happen for a reason. I’m so glad that you’re your happiest self right now 🙂
Thank you Connie, your comment means everything to me. I wrote this so long ago, yet every time I go back to read it, I cry because all the memories of that time flood back to me. But then I read to the end and am inspired and motivated all over again. I believe all things happen for a reason as well and do not regret one bit of what happened to me because I got to meet amazing people like you! 🙂